I Will Cry No More! Bullies Be Gone!

Too often, I hear horrible stories of my friends being made to feel less than human by some random jerk with a rude comment about being fat. I, too, have fallen prey to these (for lack of a better word) bullies. My personal experience began in elementary school. In third grade the boys called my best friend and I "Crockett and Tubbs" (from Miami Vice). My friend had been given an unfortunate short and curly perm that made her dark hair look like an Afro and I was chubby (hence, the name Tubbs belonged to me).

Me in the third grade. BTW...I look nothing like Detective Tubbs. He was the one with the Afro. I guess the boys weren't too smart, but they sure thought they were so clever.

Fourth grade was my toughest year and most damaging to my fragile self-esteem. This was when I came face to face with creatures called "Mean Girls." For whatever reason, the leader of this group did not like me. She was one of the two most popular girls in our class and we went to a small Catholic School, so there weren't many kids to choose from for friendship. I had my small group of close friends and we would look out for each other. Well, this girl (we'll call her Queen Bee) started a secret girls' club and started inviting all the girls in our class, including my friends, to join. When the club was completely full of members, I was the one and only girl in our class that was left out. I couldn't blame my friends for joining. For once in their lives they belonged. The whole ordeal may have lasted a couple of months, but to me it was an eternity of solitude. I must have looked so sad and pathetic wandering around the playground all by self every day at recess. Being shunned is one of the most terrible feelings a person can experience.

Me as a singing firefly in our Christmas musical (fourth grade). The Mean Girls also made fun of my singing, so I went for several years thinking I couldn't sing. Thankfully, I had the best choir teacher ever, my Junior and Senior years in high school. He broke down the wall I had built up and started the process of bringing out my singing voice. Now I love to sing and I'm a vocalist on our praise team at church.

Fifth grade was completely different. I had my friends back, I got the teacher I wanted and life was good. Also, Queen Bee had a different teacher than me, so I didn't have to be around her much.

The fifth grade me playing with my friends. My BFF is giving me a piggy-back ride.

The following year, my best friend transferred to a new school, so I was on my own once again. I still had other friends that I got along with, but there's nothing like having your BFF with you. Sixth grade would have been decent, if not for a "Mean Girl" in the grade ahead of me. I was in that awkward in between stage of adolescence when it looked like I had mosquito bites on my chest. My mom didn't think I was quite ready for a bra. This girl decided to nickname me "Bra-less Girl." Just what I needed. Anytime she saw me she felt the need to say something mean to me and got her friends to join in. I didn't even know her.

Me in sixth grade. We were performing a skit for a Girl Scout event. I'm the damsel in distress with the stick of dynamite in my mouth.

I finally transferred to public school in seventh grade. Junior High and High School were great for me. I was still chubby, but I had gotten into playing softball and had a fairly athletic build. I made all kinds of great friends and life was good once more. Please know that I hold no animosity whatsoever towards the bullies from my childhood. They were just kids and most have completely changed in their adulthood. I'm even Facebook friends with some. The adults who continue to bully, on the other hand, should know better!

Me in ninth grade. This was my 15th birthday.

The first time I experienced a random act of rudeness as an adult was when I was nine months pregnant with my son. I had gained 46 pounds and was swollen from being at the end of my pregnancy. This man I was sitting next to on the bus looked at me and said, "It must be hard to be so fat!" I couldn't believe I had just heard such a rude comment, so I simply told him that I was pregnant. His response was, "So, you're still fat!" I tried my best not to cry until he was gone. My husband was with me at the time, but hadn't heard that conversation. I knew Jemel would have punched the guy in the face, so I didn't tell him until he asked why I was crying.

Anthony on board, Summer 1998. Wow we looked young!

I've also encountered negative feedback in my career, due to my weight. It's like when people see an overweight person, they automatically label that person as lazy. I've gotten that from more than one employer. They perceive me as a lazy worker, so I have to bust my behind to try not to appear lazy. I end up getting burned out and lose all motivation to do my job. My performance suffers and then I really do look lazy.

It's unfortunate that we can allow normal people, that are no better than anyone, to have such power over us. One snide remark can completely ruin our day. My daughter told me this weekend that she is being bullied by the boys and older kids at her summer camp. Will this vicious cycle never end? Well, I refuse to cry anymore over rude and ignorant people!  I am more motivated to change my life now, than any other time in my entire life. I am going to change the world, starting with me, one pound at a time! Bullies be gone!

On a much more positive note, this week was a really great week! Check out my latest weight loss update video! I finally met my first short-term goal! Yay!